THIS LITTLE PIGGY
or
The Valley of the Pondering Piggies

My soul has sought outward in the world and has come to naught. For this, my spirit has been brought down low; in sorrow were its days upon the earth and I did hunger for peace. Taking the view of the world, I did look upon myself as lowly and among the least of the world. The poverty of my spirit caused me to retch and I hated myself.

From the depths of this wretched hate, I hated the world and its creator. I questioned:  "Who could bring this lowliness and wretchedness upon me? Who could leave me this lonely? Who could allow that I should go forth into the world and do that which would tear it and break it down?" The world cried with me and was in pain; the world feared my wretchedness and hate that had sprung from my poverty.

As pigs did they come upon me to rend and consume. One day did I tend them and the next day did I eat with them from the same trough. I partook of every notion of fear they brought me and prostrated myself before them that they might finish the work of my destruction. Then one day it came to me to leave the pigs and seek a better life. I went to and fro in the earth, but could find no rest. By the sweat of my brow did I eat. It was beyond my understanding to rest from the work I had chosen. Day and night did I serve the pigs I'd become one with. Everywhere I went, I fellowshipped with pigs; I did eat their slop and did wallow with them in the mire for it was soothing to my sores and my wretchedness.

Yet another day came and I, being tired from my work, did go and sit upon a hill. I looked far out across the land for a refuge. Yet, I knew that in every valley were but more pigs; and I did weep. I hated my life and would that I could end it quickly and without pain; but my fear prevented me. I curled up in the tall grass and dreamed of a place where I once again stood upright as, when I was a child, I had learned to do. The sun shined down upon my weary pig-self and warmed me and I felt so good. I opened my eyes and looked at the sun. I began to ponder: "Why has the sun thus shone upon me? I have not worked for it; neither have I entreated it with my service." I pondered long; but I could not understand. I went back to my labor. I grunted and shoved and got my share.

I served those around me and those around me did serve me; but nowhere did I find anything that was good to eat. Always there was slop and I hated it. Yet, I worked for it day in and day out; indeed, I did love that thing which I hated. I rooted deeper and still deeper; but no matter what I did, slop was  my fare and mire was my home. I soothed myself with mud baths; which I hated.

Every day, I hated what I'd become and the results of it. Every day, I feared that the very ones I served would destroy me. Every day, I wanted something better.

I went up on the hill daily and basked my muddy self in the sunshine freely. This day, I thought: "I will curl myself in the tall grass and, when the sun shines upon me, I will become like the sun. I will serve it and return unto it a portion of the warmth it has given me and, perhaps, it will teach me its way." So, I laid myself down with tall grass all around and waited upon the sun. As I pondered, a new thought came to my weary mind:   "I, the sun, am but a reflection; you cannot serve me. " I knew not from whence the thought had come; but it disappointed my fantasy and reminded me of my sorrow. I did not return to my work that day; instead, I thought:  "I would rather not eat for a day than to return to that work I hate with this fresh sorrow in my heart."

As I thought this, a small cloud passed over me and cast a shadow, taking away my warmth that the sun had given me. I shivered and noticed I was a little angry at the cloud. I thought: "Why have you come to steal away the only comfort I have?" The cloud passed on in silence. I slept under the sun for awhile when a very large cloud took away the sun's light and warmth altogether but I slept on and did not notice. Rain fell lightly and began to loosen the mud from my skin; but I slept on and did not notice. The cloud poured forth its burden upon me and upon the hillside round about and I awoke to find my body clean for the first time in so long. I looked up through the downpour at the huge cloud and began to ponder:  "Why has this cloud poured forth its cleansing waters upon me? I have neither served it nor asked of it. " I pondered long; but I could not understand.

I returned to my work; but I could not seem to please anyone. Every time I served someone, they would complain. When they brought me my slop, they tossed it in the mire and left it for me to sort out from among the muddiness.

I went back upon the hillside and watched for clouds; but there weren't any today.  I basked in the warm sun and waited; but no clouds came. Night fell and I dreamed of being washed clean and living the life of a child of man in the warm sun. Suddenly, I awoke as torrents of muddy water rushed around me. A storm had raged over the countryside and was screaming through the tall grass and laughing:  "Did you think I could wash you clean? I am but a reflection; you cannot serve me nor I you." With that, the storm moved on and left me spattered with mud.

I thought within myself: "The sun has warmed me; I have felt its warmth all through me. The clouds have given me of their wonderful water; and I don't care if I'm spattered with mud or not. Within my heart, I know it is better to be warmed by the sun and washed by the clouds than to root in the mire." I stood up like a child of man and started on up the hill. I stumbled over and over, for I had forgotten how to walk on two feet. I bled from my shins and my hands from falling down and, still, I continued upward.  It was as though the hill had given me the strength to climb it; and climb it I did.

I left the small hill far behind and walked on in pain. I had decided I would never return to work with the pigs. Every valley I came to had pigs wallowing and working, swearing and complaining, eating, rooting and snorting in the mire. I wondered: "What could I do?" for it was clear that if I didn't work, I would die. I continued on and pondered my life in my heart often.

As I came upon yet another valley. I laid down in sight of the workers and rested. I thought: "Why should I go on from hill to hill and valley to valley? Throughout the world, it is all the same; and my walking is no help. Nowhere is there a place where I can live without working like a pig. But I don't feel like a pig.  I have learned again to walk upright." I remembered in my heart that I was a spirit.  I no longer felt myself to be a pig.  I wondered if, being a spirit, I had been begotten by another spirit that might tell me what to do; for understanding what to do and how to continue and live was more than I knew.

I rested in the valley and, presently, the cloud that had hidden the sun moved on. I noticed that the sun also warmed me in the valley and I was very pleased. I heard the cloud and the sun together say: "We also are pleased. " I pondered in my heart what this could mean.

I heard someone behind me and turned to see another pig standing on two feet like I did. As I looked closer, I saw that he, too, was not a pig. His face was radiant as though he had been warmed through and through by the sun. He was pure and clean as though he had been washed by the cloud. He looked at me and said: "Follow me." I certainly had no need to stay any longer looking at the pigs, working and swearing; so, I followed him to see where he would go.

He walked steadily up a nearby hill and sat down on a rock. As I sat down beside him, I noticed how the rock was warm from the sun. We basked together in silence. I laid back on the rock and fell asleep. I dreamed that we were walking across the world through the air. Everywhere we went, the world was full of sunlight. From high above the hills, we could see the rivers that flowed down through the valleys among the pigs, giving them water to drink and causing their crops to grow.

When I awoke, the man was gone; and I longed for his presence. He'd not said but two words; and I wanted to be with him. Later that day, a small cloud came by and blessed me with its gentle shower; then it left me to be dried by the soft breeze from the sun. I felt so good and I noticed that I had not died. In fact, I was not even hungry. I thought: "If I could stay like this, I would not have to work ever again." I rejoiced in my heart that such a thing could be true, even if for only one day.

The nighttime came and the moon silently watched over the valley. The pigs ceased their rooting and swearing and laid down to rest. I thought to myself: "This is a wonderful time, when no one has to work, push or shove, when all may rest and enjoy the moon's light."

As I watched the moon slowly drift across the sky in silence, I saw a man walking in the valley below. He walked right through the valley. He walked right through the worker's encampment and then turned toward the opposite hill. High up on a rock, he perched and watched with the moon throughout the night.

The skyline began to give a soft glow and I wondered:  "Why am I sitting here, when I want to be with him. I know it is the same man." So, I walked down the hill and crossed the valley, right through the workers. I continued up the hill toward this friendly stranger who had asked me to follow him. He sat quietly on the rock and watched the encampment far below. I joined him and, almost without knowing I was going to do it, I leaned on his shoulder. He put his arm around me and said:  "I can see that you love me." My heart leaped for joy when I heard that and I realized that there was something special about this man that watched over the valley of pigs.

We spent many nights together in silence, watching. Every night, the pigs would slowly turn in from their labor and sleep peacefully. Every night, the man would reassure me that he cared about me. I felt so good inside and my heart knew that this was the right place for me to be. I hadn't eaten slop for many days and I wondered why I was not hungry. I thought on and it occurred to me: "What else is there to eat? Even if I was hungry, would I want to eat slop?" I set my mind to ask the man these things.

As evening fell over the valley, I strained my eyes to discover which rock the man had chosen to sit on this night; but he was not to be found. I went up the hill and chose a rock whereupon to wait for him. The moon passed by and the man did not come as I had thought he would.

As morning came, down in the valley, I heard pigs swearing. In the distance, I saw them trudging through the mud to tend their cornfields. Somewhere, in the deepest part of my soul, I felt a twinge of sadness. I watched and wondered if they, too, would like to walk on two feet and come away from the turmoil of pig-life in the valley.

Later that morning, I saw him. He was walking along the river that flowed through the valley beside the fields and the encampment of pigs. One of the pigs ran to him and pushed him out of his cornfield, swearing loudly. Another threw a rock to chase him away. One said: "We have no corn for you! Go away from us and get your own corn!"

And then, he was by my side on the rock again, telling me he knew that I loved him; and yet, there was a tear in his eye as he laid his head against me. Every day, he would walk along the river. Every day, he would call to the pigs to follow him. Every day, the pigs would turn him away. As the days wore on, he began to look very sad.

Then, one day, he didn't go. I asked him: "Aren't you going to the valley of pigs today?" He was quiet for awhile; then he said: "Would you go for me?" I told him that I had not the gift of love to give them like he had given me. I told him I had not the power to stop their hunger as he had done for me.  He was quiet again. After a very long while, he began to tell me a story.

He said: "When I was very young, I lived like these men do, in a valley very much like this one. I felt trapped; I felt like I would never be anything but piglike. I hated being muddy and having to swear and shove and fight to maintain my place and find something to eat. I lived like this for many years and no one liked me; for I was one of the meanest pigs in our valley. I always made sure I had my share and plenty more for the next day. I didn't let anybody stop me from getting what was mine. The other pigs were afraid of me and hated me and, one night, they laid a plan to kill me and take all the corn I had stored in a small cave along the river. They hit me with their hoes over and over again and dumped my body into the river. I floated along for some time, not quite knowing what was happening to me. Then, my head hit the root of a very big tree, shooting pain throughout my body. I shrieked with pain and grabbed onto the huge root. I dragged myself out of the river and began to look at what they had done to me. For some reason, I was not angry. A small cloud came along and washed me clean of the remaining mud and river debris as the morning sun came out and warmed me until I was dry. I sat all day and pondered what I had caused to happen to me. That day, I decided I would become different; I decided I would never cause such a thing to happen to me ever again. When I walked away from the river that day, I realized I could walk on two feet and I remembered that I had walked that way years before as a child.

Since that day, I have become strong and have not needed to eat slop.  I have realized that I am not a pig. "Just the other day, the day I met you, I realized that the men who had beaten me and thrown me in the river also were not pigs; they were just men like myself, who didn't know any better than to act like pigs. I realized that they, too, must feel trapped; they, too, must hate their lives and the slop they labor for and protect day in and day out. This is why I asked you to follow me, so I could have someone to talk to about all this; but, I just couldn't seem to talk to you about it before."

With surprise, I told him: " I thought you wanted me to follow you so you could share your love with me and help me to find rest and to not have to eat slop anymore."

He said: "When I came to you, I'm not even sure I knew I loved you.  I thought it was you who shared your love with me. I thought it was you who kept me from feeling hungry."

And so it was that we had both yearned for the same things, we had both been brought to the same place in our lives, we had both begun to love each other and we had both begun to realize that men were not pigs, regardless of how piggish they acted. Even as the sun and the clouds had shared freely with us and caused us to ponder, so did we begin to share freely with each other. Still, we had to admit that we did not understand what it was within us that had brought us out of the mire, quenched our hunger and given us love. Still, we continued in that little good that had been given and, daily, we tried our best to share it with others.

As days turned into years, we became a small band of people that no longer pushed and shoved, that no longer swore and complained, that no longer laid down in the mud to eat. Each morning, we would arise from our dreams on the hillside, stretch and watch the activity in the valley below.

Slowly, we began to lose interest in the turmoil and would often find ourselves sitting together, contemplating the sun, the clouds, the river and the spirit of oneness that seemed to flow through us and through all things.

News of our becoming a separate band that did no work and that did not fight spread from valley to valley; and, every so often, one would come to us and join in. Often, these would become disappointed because their hunger remained and would angrily get down on all fours and strut back down the hill.

We did not know what to do to help them.  It was obvious that they had come to us angry and that they had greater interest in not having to work and not being hungry than in being one with us and enjoying the love that we shared.

Then one day, I was sitting on a rock by myself for the first time in a long while. I didn't regret or hate my life anymore. I wasn't thinking particularly about the sun or the clouds, or even our love and oneness. I just sat there quietly and observed whatever was there. As I looked over to the group, I didn't think of them as being anything special; they were just the people I lived with in peace. Then I looked far across the valley to where some men were quarreling over a patch of corn; they no longer seemed piggish to me, just unfortunate.

I closed my eyes and became quieter still. A calm resonated through me, causing me to shiver; it felt good and I just wanted to sing. It went through me again, stronger this time. I got up and began to dance in the sunshine.

My friends looked to see what I was up to, dancing all around the hillside. Then, one by one, they, too, began to dance. Some of them sang and I found myself joining in. People began to walk up from the valley and stand around watching and, by the end of the day, there were hundreds of us, dancing and singing. None of us knew quite what was going on; but we knew that it felt good just to be together and to dance and sing.

That night, we all sat around a big fire and talked quietly. Some sat alone in silence and pondered what had begun to happen in their hearts.  None of us worked in the valley the next day. We just remained there by the embers, as though we were waiting for something to happen. People came by, passing over from the other valleys on their way to work. They stopped and asked us why we weren't working; but we didn't have any good, practical answer for them. We invited them to stay with us for awhile; but most of them had to go on to work.

So it was that love had come to our valley. And some had sung the depths of its resonant song and watched while others danced in its light.