Night of Hell, Day of Gladness

Night of Hell, Day of Gladness I looked upon my life and the physical world, and I saw evil. Because of the sin and the evil I had done in this world, because of the Accuser that is in the world, I believed in his accusation day and night. I feared greatly and looked, and saw myself trembling at the knees, standing among the guilty. There was no way for me to escape, for I had neglected any salvation. I was guilty and fearing; even my own children did scorn me and point the finger.

I looked about me and, on every hand, my life was like a storm. When I thought to rest from my guilt, my fear and my anguish, the Accuser said, "Look!" And I did look out upon the world and saw my family in pain also, burning within and suffering for my wickedness and also for the evil that they too had done in the world because of their anguish. And I agreed with the Accuser that I was full of sin and guilt and shame. I saw that there was no place for me and did see the Accuser of mankind coming to take me away into darkness, unto my place. It was hell and within myself I burned throughout the everlasting night, for there was no day there. I thought to comfort myself with thoughts of my family and thoughts of my wonderful wife, but they were in great pain, so great an anguish that it appeared they would never recover. I thought to look upon thoughts of my mother and my father and brother, that perhaps there I might find some rest from this awful burning. I saw them crying over a lost child, forever lost in hell and filled with burning. Then, for a moment, I saw all these my family being led away also into eternal torment. I could no longer hope, for hope was gone from me and I gave myself over unto the flames that threatened to consume my very soul from within me.

A time passed in darkness and, were it not for the flames within me, I would not have known that I was yet alive in any way, for this darkness of hell did seem as death to me. I hid myself in the flames and they did cover me over. I rejoiced in my pain, for it was right. I stood forth from myself and shook my finger at this poor, helpless wreck of a man that stood before me trembling and crying in hell. "You're nothing! You've always been nothing! From childhood, you have caused nothing but evil and pain and suffering all around you! It is good that you should be here, you son of the devil, for this surely is your place. No one can hear you. No one can see you and you are among the forgotten dead of the earth. Go ahead; rejoice in your pain and your guilt and the wages you have received for the evil that you have brought upon yourself and your family. Hang your wicked head in shame and know that none can save you from this death, not even God; for God does not pardon the guilty! And guilty you are; for it is written that you should not do the things which you have done. You should be damned to this hell; and so it is justice that you are damned to suffering and that you are here in this flame that cannot be quenched."

I cried out to God. Had God forsaken me? I had heard that God was with me, even unto the end, even in hell. I cried out and no one answered me; yet it was a small comfort just to call out unto God. I knew not if ever God would hear my cry or ever answer unto one such as myself. Yet I cried out unto him, for there was hope in none other. And I looked and saw that my hope had rekindled itself within me. I looked and, where before was just inner flames and pain and guilt and anguish and hopelessness, now there was also a small glimmer of hope. As a small ray of Light, this hope was like unto daylight to me, for I had been in darkness and pain for so long. As I looked, I saw again the Accuser of mankind and saw that it was me. I looked upon myself and saw me standing there in a long black robe; and I said to myself, "Wherein do you hope? Don't you know that you will never be free? Can't you see that it is right that you should be here?" And I replied again to myself, "This hope is all that I have. Would you take away this also? Have mercy; for this hope is like a child unto me and it is precious." And he in the black robe spoke and said, "I would not take your hope; you have forsaken it long ago and thrown it away. You do not love this child of hope any more than you ever loved your other children." With those words, my soul became again dark. The flames of guilt and darkness overwhelmed me and I no longer saw this hope.

Then, out of the darkness, came a quiet voice. I was not even sure that I heard it. I paused from my crying and my accusing myself within the wilderness that I had become. I looked about within myself. I saw nothing; I heard nothing. Perhaps it was just the wind, I thought. And then I realized that the flames within me were ceased. I found myself at rest for the first time in so long. With just a Word had all these flames been extinguished. And where was my Accuser? He also was gone, was even extinguished with the flames of guilt. I felt no guilt nor any pain and was in great wonderment at how this thing should be. Was I not among the dead and among those in everlasting torment prepared for the wicked and for the devil and his angels? Wherefore then had this Peace come upon me in my guilt and in my unworthiness? I looked about me to discover the source of this new world of Peace that had come upon me in a moment when I least expected it. I saw before me a small quiet flame, even the hope of the whole world and did hear it speak yet again, "Peace be unto you who have overcome the Accuser to call upon my name." The thoughts of my mind shattered into a million pieces as I tried to understand how this Peace had come upon me; and I rested from my anguish. And I looked out upon this, my newfound world and saw that it was good. And the voice that was in the flame did speak unto me again, "This is my kingdom, wherein is no evil thing. I have cleansed you of all your unrighteousness. It is unto you as though you had never done those evil deeds to which you have clung so tightly in you mind, filling your heart with pain and anguish of hell. God and sin no more."

I saw in the distance, my children, my parents and my wife with whom I had shared moments of joy, walking toward me. And I ran with tears of joy streaming from my eyes unto them, hoping that they would not vanish as an apparition of my mind. I embraced them one and all. They did not vanish; but did embrace me and cry upon my shoulders and did forgive me of those things that I had done. And when these had forgiven me, the world I had been led away from appeared again before my eyes. And yet, it was not the same world I had left; for I looked about and saw no evil in it. I wondered how this thing could be. Where did the evil go? Where are those others I have wronged? And with that very thought, the Accuser appeared before me once again, robed in black with terrible hate and scorn in his eyes and said, "That's right; there are many others who have not forgiven you. You're just as guilty of evil as you ever were. This hope is a lie!" And another, clothed in white, appeared beside me and said, "Answer him not. Look upon me and walk beside me and today you shall be with me in my kingdom." And I looked upon him and saw nothing but his loveliness. We turned from the Accuser and I knew somehow not to look back or to fear. And I never saw him or the evil and darkness that thrived in his realm ever again. For I decided that day to walk on with the Lord, that had appeared unto me in my time of need. We did, together, enter into his kingdom of Peace; and, as we did enter, I looked around and did not see him whose kingdom it was. And once agin, the voice spoke unto me, "fear not; for we are one. And, as it is written, I AM with you always, not only unto the end of the world, but eternally, here in my kingdom of Peace. And this is my commandment unto you: That you fear not...that you share my Peace and my Love with those round you, even as I have come unto you and given that which I AM, freely, unto you. Even as we are one and even as we commune together within your own heart, even so, share that which I give unto you that others may take it unto themselves, that they may know me as you know me and may enter also into my kingdom of Peace. I have given unto you to walk with me in my kingdom. Therefore, as you walk in and out through the world, look upon my children as your brothers and sisters, for such they are. Nevertheless, while you find yourself in the world, be clear in the Peace within you that you are indeed no longer of the world. Look not upon any evil thing, thereby to call for the Accuser of mankind; but rather, look upon my children and see in each of them that spark of hope that I have placed there. As you look upon that spark of hope, upon that good that is in the world, bear witness to that which you see in them and know that it is a part of myself. Rejoice in knowing that I AM in them and share my Love with them as doing this unto me. Always be in remembrance of that which is in them, even myself. As you love them and that light that is in them, you will see my salvation bringing these ones into my kingdom and filling them with my Love and my Peace and my Joy. When you have completed your portion of this, my work, you will be filled with all knowledge and wisdom and power, for you will see all the world through my omnipresence, through me omniscience and through my omnipotence, and know even as you are known. When you have done that faithful work that I have given and have brought my Light and my Love unto those that I have given you in the world, to bring them forth also out of the world, even then shall your joy be complete and you shall see my face and truly know that we are one. You shall see only me in all things, for you shall have become like unto that which I AM, even full of Love and Peace and Joy and Mercy and Longsuffering, even full of all knowledge and wisdom and all power over all things. Wherefore know, even as it is written, that unto they that call upon my name shall be given that they shall overcome all things and sit with me in my throne to reign in Love and in Righteousness."

                           .....LightDancer